Celluloid Confetti

As those who know me will attest, I am normally quite a calm person, but certain things make me fly into an uncontrollable rage.

The first of these is lupins. The other is the use of transliterated English words in the titles of Japanese films.

Let me explain what I mean.

A few days ago, I was adding the new Soda Pictures release, After Life, onto our database.

Two of our reviewers, Graeme Hobbs and Mike Whitworth, really liked it, and it does sound like an interesting film - basically, the recently deceased are held in a kind of half-way house where they can choose the best moment of their lives to be re-enacted through eternity.

(Mine would be the time I got a wooden bead stuck up my nose as a child)

But as I was looking through the film details, the tranquility of MovieMail Towers was suddenly rent by a mad, roaring commotion.

As my colleagues turned to look in my direction, I realised it was emanating from me.

You see, I had spotted After Life’s original Japanese title, ワンダフルライフ, or, if you insist, Wandâfuru Raifu. Now, having lived in Japan for three years (ninja training) I have a smattering of Japanese, and by ’smattering’, I mean next to none.

However, I was able to painstakingly translate Wandâfuru Raifu back into the original English.

After hours of decoding, I can reveal that ‘Wandâfuru Raifu’ actually means ‘Wonderful Life’.

(Which I think gives the film quite a nice Frank Capra feel)

But the reason I was able to translate this title into English was simple:

Wandâfuru Raifu IS English.

Go on, read it back to yourself (it helps if you use a Peter Sellers-esque Japanese accent):

Wandâfuru Raifu.
Wonderful Life.
Wandâfuru Raifu.
Wonderful Life.
Wandâfuru Raifu.

See?

The explanation is simple: Japanese movies often use English words in the title.

In fact, English words are common throughout Japan, in the same way that you can ask for Un Hamburger next time you go to France for La Weekend on Votre Skateboard.

But in Japan, they use different writing systems. You have Kanji 漢字, complex Chinese characters which are used to write Japanese words.

But because Kanji are difficult to learn, there is also Hiragana, which can be used to spell out Japanese words phonetically.

Then there is Katakana, which is used to write foreign words phonetically.

So on Japanese posters, Wonderful Life is written ワンダフルライフ.

Now, this is all well and good, but the problem occurs when the film is brought over to England and the US.

At the moment, the mad, twisted convention is to transliterate the Katakana back into English.

But because the Japanese phonetic alphabet is different from our own, this doesn’t quite work.

So ワンダフルライフ = wa - n - da - fu - ru - ra - fu.

Put it together, and what do you get?

Wandâfuru Raifu!

In other words, you start talking like Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

My solution is simple. If a Japanese film has an English title, then we should write it in English rather than trying to make it sound foreign, because Ghost in the Shell: Inonsensu (2004) is just daft.

So Batoru Rowaiaru would just be Battle Royale (2000).

And Ringu would be Ring (1998).

And After Life’s AKA title would be Wonderful Life, so the Frank Capra reference would be obvious rather than obfuscated behind a cloud of Janglish.

I genuinely think this would make the world a sweeter, better place, and would promote international understanding and be an important step towards world peace.

So next time you see a Japanese film with a strange sounding title or AKA, take a pause and read it back to yourself. You might be able to impress your friends with a little impromptu translation!